Yesterday I woke up to find anxiety gnawing on my brain and sitting on my chest. My breathing was shallow as it tried to push past the tense pressure on my lungs, the crushing weight of a threatened panic attack. Stay still, anxiety whispered, make yourself small. Its voice like a snakes hiss in the…
Tag: thoughts
66) The Year of No
A few years ago I got a book on audible, it was The Year of Yes by Shonda Rimes and it was fabulous. I remember listening to it as I was out running by the lake one day, I listened as Shonda narrated about how she was stuck in a rut and needed to sort…
65) Moose sighting
As the car pulled away from the accommodation the tears were already stinging my eyes. I took a wrong turn 3 times in a row and ended up pulling over to take a deep breath. My brain was racing, road directions mingled with memories and huge red warning sirens went off in my head screaming…
62) Ghosts and Gold
I lay in the darkness, suddenly fully awake, my eyes wide and staring into nothingness, my heart thumping like a rabbits that had just been chased by…well by my dog. I knew it wasn’t a sound that had woken me. Old ghosts had shaken me awake, whisps of memories pulled me from my slumber. My…
60) Tapping out
Anxiety. How can one word have such huge crushing effects on me. It slit open my stomach and slipped inside one day in late January. It stretched out lazily like a cat, its claws reaching up towards my throat but from the inside, making me feel simultaneously sick and full and uncomfortable. Its back feet…
59) Strip it back
Imagine one day you were forced to strip your life back, right back to the basics. You were allowed nothing but food and shelter. No tv, no music, no sounds, no books, no conversation, no distractions, no friends, no exercise. Nothing. Food and shelter only. Slowly you were allowed to add things back in. A…
57) Hedgehogs and Home
The fire is making it hard to write this, it’s crackling softly and lulling me into complete relaxation. Through half closed eyes I want to record this though, the next bit, the part that comes after the awful worry and the stress. This feeling. This seemed like such a far away, almost impossible, goal just…
50) Strangers on the Internet
Are you old enough to remember the buzzing, hissing, alien-like dial tone as the internet cut off the phone line and came slowly to life? (And did you also use this long, drawn out alien song time to go and make a snack? Just me?) Back then we were told that you were 100%…
49) Love Handles and Women’s Sandals
There’s a red dress in my wardrobe. It’s been there for years. It hasn’t moved from the wardrobe in years because it does not fit me. There, I said it. It barely fit me when I bought it if I’m being completely honest. My actual size was sold out so I told myself the age…
40) The inner workings of my mind on a day off…
The inner workings of my mind on a day off…… : I would love a coffee right know, hey look a butterfly, ok no it’s coffee time, maybe I’ll buy shoes today, coffee first then shoes, actually no I really don’t need new shoes, where should I get a coffee, oh look a shoe shop,…
Stuck In A Rut 