After doing a load of laundry last night I was putting the newly clean bed sheet back on the bed when I noticed that it was very wrinkly. I suddenly thought to myself hmmm maybe I should iron it…. I was so surprised that I had to stop what I was doing immediately and go and look in the mirror to see whether I had just turned into an old lady or whether I was still myself. Iron the bed sheets?? Iron in general?? What was going on! Since when did I worry about those kinds of things! I’m young I told myself, I don’t care about bed sheet wrinkles or the iron!

I tried to dismiss it as a once off and reminded myself that last week I had been refused a bottle of wine from the supermarket as I didn’t have my ID with me. See, it’s ok, I told myself, only young looking people get IDed! Then I remembered that the reason I was at the supermarket in the first place was to buy hair dye to cover my grey hairs…

I got a text message mid thought and I looked at my phone as it lit up, the wallpaper is a photo of me and Gerry taken a few days ago. It made me smile. I thought to myself aw what a cute photo of us. Then I thought to myself….wait….what’s that? I looked closer.

What the……?

WHERE THE HELL DID THOSE WRINKLES COME FROM! 

“REMAIN CALM!” a voice in my head told me, then suddenly another voice in the back of my mind spoke up with the accent of a little old Irish lady, “don’t worry dear, shur there’s nothing wrong with getting older and being good and sensible”. 

I suddenly had the urge to knit and fluff pillows and drink copious amounts of tea poured out of a teapot with a pink tea cosy on it while discussing the weather and complaining about the youth of today.

What was happening to me! Who’s voice was that! I realised that I recognised the voice, it was the same voice that had been whispering to me lately to wear suncream and to hoover the carpet and it was the voice that told me to put the laundry out to dry as “there’s grand drying in the air today”. I had always just assumed it was my conscience or something but then it occurred to me. FATHER TIME IS NO MAN! He is in fact an old Irish woman! 

She has finally paid me a visit and it looks like she is here to stay. When I’m trying to relax I find my mind wandering to thoughts of property prices and mortgages, I suddenly feel like painting the walls white and buying cream coloured furniture, maybe a comfy lounger. Today I cleaned the house AND I ENJOYED IT! I felt so satisfied when everything was clean and tidy. 

WHAT IS THIS MADNESS! I sat by the window and looked out at our raspberry bush, all the raspberries had been picked and it had started to fade away again as autumn approached. Was I like the raspberry bush?? Have all my raspberries been picked?? Ok that sounded weird….

I began to have a serious think about ageing when the old lady voice in my head suggested I go and make some tea. I gave in and made a cup and it actually calmed me down. I felt quite chilled out then. She suggested that I have a chocolate biscuit with it, I went with it and got a biscuit. I found myself sitting in the sun in the garden with a cup of tea and a biscuit and I began to think to myself that maybe she wasn’t so bad after all… 

Then, when I finished my tea she suggested that I put my feet up and have a nice glass of wine and I decided that I liked her 🙂