Yesterday I woke up to find anxiety gnawing on my brain and sitting on my chest. My breathing was shallow as it tried to push past the tense pressure on my lungs, the crushing weight of a threatened panic attack. Stay still, anxiety whispered, make yourself small. Its voice like a snakes hiss in the…
Category: Mental Health
66) The Year of No
A few years ago I got a book on audible, it was The Year of Yes by Shonda Rimes and it was fabulous. I remember listening to it as I was out running by the lake one day, I listened as Shonda narrated about how she was stuck in a rut and needed to sort…
65) Moose sighting
As the car pulled away from the accommodation the tears were already stinging my eyes. I took a wrong turn 3 times in a row and ended up pulling over to take a deep breath. My brain was racing, road directions mingled with memories and huge red warning sirens went off in my head screaming…
64) Howl At The Moon
I never go running in the dark and I don’t run with music on anymore. Since the accident I make sure to go running in the middle of the day with no earphones in, fully aware of the track and my surroundings. I’m careful, always always hyper cautious, watching for potential accidents and dangers. The…
63) Fine Print
Have you ever read society’s fine print? Staying home for so long during lockdown really gave me time to think and I ended up turning all my notifications off and unfollowing a lot of the community Facebook pages as they were stressing me out. People complaining about other people, mean comments and photos of bad…
62) Ghosts and Gold
I lay in the darkness, suddenly fully awake, my eyes wide and staring into nothingness, my heart thumping like a rabbits that had just been chased by…well by my dog. I knew it wasn’t a sound that had woken me. Old ghosts had shaken me awake, whisps of memories pulled me from my slumber. My…
61) Lockdown Diaries Week 1
Week one was about adjusting. It was filled with hot coffee as we watched the sunrise, novelty picnic dinners in the garden and cozy fires in the evening. We settled in, we got used to our new way of life. The fear faded almost instantly after lockdown was announced. Life went from millions of confusing…
In Sickness And In Health
So let me make sure I’m getting this right…you go shopping for your dress, you find the perfect one, (you know it’s perfect because it makes everyone who sees it emotional) then you spend a small fortune on it, wear it once, and that’s it. You then have to put away your expensive, magical, emotion…
60) Tapping out
Anxiety. How can one word have such huge crushing effects on me. It slit open my stomach and slipped inside one day in late January. It stretched out lazily like a cat, its claws reaching up towards my throat but from the inside, making me feel simultaneously sick and full and uncomfortable. Its back feet…
59) Strip it back
Imagine one day you were forced to strip your life back, right back to the basics. You were allowed nothing but food and shelter. No tv, no music, no sounds, no books, no conversation, no distractions, no friends, no exercise. Nothing. Food and shelter only. Slowly you were allowed to add things back in. A…
Stuck In A Rut 