35) Red Bums and Black Eyebrows

I have recently returned from a holiday to Fiji so if you are ever thinking of visiting Fiji then here is my advice to you:


1) Definitely bring lots of Sun cream: 
Gerry in the morning: babe I don’t think we need to be wearing factor 30 sunscreen, let’s just wear factor 15.
Gerry in the evening at the pharmacy: I would like to purchase every bottle of after sun lotion u have please.


I call my sunburn ‘the snorkeler’, ie the only part of me that is burnt is the only bit that was sticking out of the water, ie. my bright red bum cheeks. FML.


Me: I would like a full body massage please.
Massage therapist: Oh u very sunburn, like baboon!

2) Everyone likes to look nice and toned and thin in their bikini holiday photos, however the temptation of countless cocktails and amazing meals when you arrive means that you should take all the bikini photos on the first day.


“Ok quick lets take one more bikini pic and then I’m ordering a pizza!”


After gorging yourself on pizza and burgers, find the nearest hammock and just take random feet photos for the rest of the holiday.


After holiday weight and sunburn really kick in, photos of cocktails are sufficient.




Also while most people start to get more tanned towards the end if the holiday, I experienced the opposite as my fake tan began to fade. Photos taken from a distance are your friend when this happens…


3) Make sure to participate in as many local activities as possible.

Scooter hire:
Today we hired a scooter each. Then the scooter hire man saw my attempt to drive it and immediately took mine back off of me, refunded me and ripped up my hire contract “for my own safety”. I blame my sunburnt ass cheeks….!



We booked a day of snorkelling off one of the Islands today, unfortunately I’m still feeling quite sick with the flu. I decided to ignore my illness and just get on with it. My body however was not too pleased with my decision, either was the man who owned the snorkel gear after I sneezed/nasally exploded into my mask while I was wearing it….


3) Embrace the local culture and immerse yourself in all things Fiji! But maybe do some research before going…


Shits and giggles by the pool with Gerry 🙂
No as in literally…don’t drink the water in Fiji…


Today I lay in a hammock by the ocean all day thinking to myself “I could stay here forever”, then I went to the shop and got charged $14 for a bar of warm chocolate and immediately changed my mind!


If you have thin, humidity effected hair then I highly suggest that you shave your head before travelling as there were not enough hair clips in Fiji to save my hair from this humidity…
Me on arriving to fiji: Ohmygod it’s so beautiful and warm!
Gerry: what the hell is happening to your hair?
Me: To the aircon! QUICKLY RUN!

Lots of hair clips later….


4) You are on holiday, treat yourself!
Towards the end of your holiday you definitely deserve a bit of R&R before returning to the real world, however make sure you are very clear with your beauty therapist about what you want.


Beauty therapist: ok finished, you like?
Me: OH….OH DEAR….Am it’s a bit dark…
Beauty therapist: Yes, too late now…

Me walking around smiling at people we pass: Gerry why is no one smiling back at me?
Gerry: eyebrows?

Today is our last day in Fiji so me and Gerry went and sat on the beach to watch the sunset. It was the most perfect evening….and I can’t even take a picture because I am a giant walking eyebrow.





3 Comments Add yours

    1. heffronsarah says:

      Thank you!

  1. rstebbens says:

    I’d get that leg looked at immediately….:-o

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