63) Fine Print

Have you ever read society’s fine print? Staying home for so long during lockdown really gave me time to think and I ended up turning all my notifications off and unfollowing a lot of the community Facebook pages as they were stressing me out. People complaining about other people, mean comments and photos of bad…

62) Ghosts and Gold

I lay in the darkness, suddenly fully awake, my eyes wide and staring into nothingness, my heart thumping like a rabbits that had just been chased by…well by my dog. I knew it wasn’t a sound that had woken me. Old ghosts had shaken me awake, whisps of memories pulled me from my slumber. My…

61) Lockdown Diaries Week 1

Week one was about adjusting. It was filled with hot coffee as we watched the sunrise, novelty picnic dinners in the garden and cozy fires in the evening. We settled in, we got used to our new way of life. The fear faded almost instantly after lockdown was announced. Life went from millions of confusing…

60) Tapping out

Anxiety. How can one word have such huge crushing effects on me. It slit open my stomach and slipped inside one day in late January. It stretched out lazily like a cat, its claws reaching up towards my throat but from the inside, making me feel simultaneously sick and full and uncomfortable. Its back feet…

59) Strip it back

Imagine one day you were forced to strip your life back, right back to the basics. You were allowed nothing but food and shelter. No tv, no music, no sounds, no books, no conversation, no distractions, no friends, no exercise. Nothing. Food and shelter only. Slowly you were allowed to add things back in. A…

58) Anxiety Cafe

Quick back story to this post: For those of you who are new here, hi! I had an accident 7 months ago and I’m still in recovery from a concussion. So much has changed since the head injury and unfortunately I have developed anxiety as a result. I have been writing a book about the…

57) Hedgehogs and Home

The fire is making it hard to write this, it’s crackling softly and lulling me into complete relaxation. Through half closed eyes I want to record this though, the next bit, the part that comes after the awful worry and the stress. This feeling. This seemed like such a far away, almost impossible, goal just…

56) Kidneys and Keys

We found out at the weekend that our current rental situation will be coming to an end soon and we will need to find a new place to live. Someone asked me this morning how the apartment hunt is going. I decided not to mention that I had just googled “can you sell your organs”…

55) Rescued

I’m not a fan of cliches, I like words and phrases to be as authentic and unique as possible. I cringe when people say that they are ‘marrying their best friend’ or that it was their rescue dog that rescued them. Then I got married and had to physically restrain myself from writing in my…

54) Everything Nothing Something

Please don’t ask me what I’m worried about. It’s everything, nothing and something. I’m not writing this for the people who have anxiety, the people who know this tight feeling in their own chest, who’s breathe matches mine today. I’m writing this for those that can breathe easily and who want to know what we’re…