So we have recently made the decision to stay in New Zealand permanently and become actual grown ups at last! That means it’s time to make some changes. One of these changes is our apartment, I no longer view it as a temporary stop over, it’s now a more permanent home in my mind so…
Tag: funny
33) Adam And Eve Ate The Nutella
Now that I’m quickly approaching my late 20’s my metabolism really isn’t what it used to be. This is now what I must do to myself in the name of being healthy! A few days ago I came to the horrifying realisation that there was no chocolate in the house. As I happened to be…
29) Catch up
Random stories over the last few weeks. I was in our bathroom earlier when I noticed a bug crawling along the floor, I quickly scooped him up in a piece of tissue paper and threw him in the toilet. I flushed him down the toilet but when the flushing stopped, all the tissue was gone…
25) How To Train Your Human
Last year for Christmas Gerry surprised me with a fat little guinea pig. Regardless of our attempts to civilise her over the last year, here are the life lessons that she has done her best to teach us. 1) The Hoover is the devil himself, hide and growl and he will eventually go away. 2)…
24) Wisdom Toothless
So I just spent $500 to awkwardly lick a mans fingers for half an hour. ie. I’ve just been to the dentist. Much like a dog can sense when it is going to be taken to the vet, my wisdom tooth had a sneaking suspicion that I had finally had enough if it’s crap. The…
23) Confessions of a Chocoholic
Me: Hi, I’m Sarah and I’m a chocoholic. Brain: Hi Sarah. Me: I am ready to admit I have a problem. I eat chocolate constantly, morning noon and night. I crave it, I fantasise about it, I need it. Brain: I see. And how do u feel about melted chocolate? Me: Oh I love it……
20) Neighbourly Nudity
I’m going to go ahead and admit that sometimes I can be a teensy tiny bit paranoid. Like when I’m walking home alone at night and someone is walking behind me, I just assume they are planning on murdering me, so I phone Gerry and run all the way home. Which is pretty normal….right? Anyway…
19) Sneaky Summer Flu
Summer is finally in the air! The birds are singing, the flowers are growing, the baby lambs are getting fat and tasty looking! The winter jackets are put away, jumpers discarded, scarves already long forgotten in the back of the wardrobe. Those pasty winter legs are shaved and displayed for all to see! The days…
16) The Hunger Demon
It crept up on me as it always does, there was no warning, there was no time to prepare for it. I had just worked a long shift, it was busy so there was no time for a break, no time for a snack or a breather. My shift finally ended and instead of staying…
12) My week in short stories
Bought a bag of worms at the gardening center, had a chat with the lady who worked there about how theyr amazing for compost. She gave me lots of composting tips. She also gave me lots of baby worms that are apparently amazing for compost. I didn’t have the heart to tell her they were…
Stuck In A Rut 