25) How To Train Your Human

Last year for Christmas Gerry surprised me with a fat little guinea pig. Regardless of our attempts to civilise her over the last year, here are the life lessons that she has done her best to teach us. 1) The Hoover is the devil himself, hide and growl and he will eventually go away. 2)…

24) Wisdom Toothless

So I just spent $500 to awkwardly lick a mans fingers for half an hour. ie. I’ve just been to the dentist. Much like a dog can sense when it is going to be taken to the vet, my wisdom tooth had a sneaking suspicion that I had finally had enough if it’s crap. The…

23) Confessions of a Chocoholic

Me: Hi, I’m Sarah and I’m a chocoholic. Brain: Hi Sarah. Me: I am ready to admit I have a problem. I eat chocolate constantly, morning noon and night. I crave it, I fantasise about it, I need it. Brain: I see. And how do u feel about melted chocolate? Me: Oh I love it……

21) Skinny Secrets

The wisdom tooth diet. Step 1 Eat loads of sweets and chocolate over a few days. (It helps if your boyfriend is a feeder and constantly buys you brownies and other treats even tho he knows you are trying to be healthy). Work hard, get the flu and get stressed easily until you are feeling…

20) Neighbourly Nudity

I’m going to go ahead and admit that sometimes I can be a teensy tiny bit paranoid. Like when I’m walking home alone at night and someone is walking behind me, I just assume they are planning on murdering me, so I phone Gerry and run all the way home. Which is pretty normal….right? Anyway…

19) Sneaky Summer Flu

Summer is finally in the air! The birds are singing, the flowers are growing, the baby lambs are getting fat and tasty looking! The winter jackets are put away, jumpers discarded, scarves already long forgotten in the back of the wardrobe. Those pasty winter legs are shaved and displayed for all to see! The days…

16) The Hunger Demon

It crept up on me as it always does, there was no warning, there was no time to prepare for it. I had just worked a long shift, it was busy so there was no time for a break, no time for a snack or a breather. My shift finally ended and instead of staying…